Frequently Asked Questions from intended Parents
On This Page:
General Information for Intended Parents
-
Surrogacy is the act of one woman carrying and giving birth to a baby that isn’t genetically hers. Advancements in Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART), including artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization with an embryo transfer (IVF/ET), make it possible for infertile and same-sex couples to use surrogacy to start a family.
-
A genetic (previously known as traditional) surrogate is artificially inseminated with sperm from the intended father or a sperm donor and donates her egg, giving the surrogate a genetic link to the child. The gestational surrogate is more common (and the only thing our program assists with!). In her case, the eggs are harvested from the intended mother or egg donor, fertilized with sperm from the intended father or sperm donor and transferred to the surrogate’s uterus. The gestational surrogate has no genetic link to the baby.
-
Yes, intended parents sometimes work with a friend or family member as a surrogate. Surrogacy is complex; the experience can put a strain on an existing relationship. An agency that supports both parties dissipates tensions that may occur and protects the relationship.
-
The most common reason is to give the joy of a family to someone who can’t create one on their own. Other surrogates have watched a friend or family member struggle with the loss and disappointment of infertility and feel called to help. Most surrogates also enjoy being pregnant.
-
Surrogacy in some form is legal in almost all states in the United States. There may be restrictions on some family makeups or genetics in some states, but we are happy to talk to you about your specific situation and we always make certain we are keeping a close eye on things when matching!
-
We value family and relationships. We’re diligent about creating a good fit between the intended parent(s) and their surrogate, then offer support and guidance to both parties throughout the entire process. We recognize that building a family through surrogacy entails a life-changing, and potentially stressful, experience for everyone involved. We’re passionate about our work, and we’re good at it.
-
Absolutely. We work with infertile and same-sex couples, married or unmarried, as well as single men and women who are ready to grow their family through surrogacy. We love ALL families!
-
Unfortunately, no. Navigating international surrogacy is sometimes a complex process. While we’re familiar with the requirements, it can be difficult as a smaller agency to accommodate your needs and requests.
-
Absolutely. We put together a package of specific services designed to meet your needs. The surrogacy process involves legal, medical and personal concerns; managing the process on your own can be overwhelming. We help by providing support to your surrogate, attending medical procedures and appointments with her, if needed, monitoring the pregnancy, and attending the birth.
-
Simply call, email or schedule a no-charge initial consultation. We look forward to hearing from you!
-
Choice of a clinic is so personal that we are loathe to make specific recommendations. We do suggest that you do your research on clinic success rates via the CDC and SART. Also, call the clinic and talk to their team! Do they give you the warm fuzzies like they are going to take great care of you? Also do some self reflection. Do you like a large clinic with many doctors? Or do you prefer the intimacy of a solo doctor practice? There are so many factors to consider and only you can determine which is right for you.
-
We’re very particular about screening surrogates. The surrogates in our program are all mothers from stable living situations. They feel responsible for the growth and development of the child they’re carrying, even when that child isn’t their own. Our surrogates are invited to attend support meetings hosted by us. If they can’t attend, a licensed social worker checks in at least once every month, at our request, to discuss any issues or concerns. We maintain regular contact with our surrogates before, during and at a minimum for six weeks following her pregnancy.
our Process
-
We need your social security number to complete your background check.
-
Bright Futures Families is very selective in choosing surrogates. Our surrogate candidates pass medical, psychological and background screenings before we share their profile with an intended parent(s).
Bright Futures Families surrogates meet these qualifications:
Overall good health, with no psychiatric illness or sexually transmitted diseases
Financially secure and not receiving state or federal government assistance
Has the support and understanding of a spouse or close family
Has given birth to at least one child who she is currently raising and has no history of complicated pregnancies
Preferably 21-38 years of age, up to healthy early 40’s
Does not use or smoke tobacco or marijuana and is not exposed to second-hand smoke
Does not use illegal drugs or live with someone who does
Does not abuse alcohol
Maintains a healthy height-to-weight ratio (Body Mass Index) as determined by a medical professional
Has a reliable mode of transportation
Agrees to a full and thorough review of all official medical records directly obtained from her treating physicians (these records are reviewed by a medical professional)
She and her spouse or partner (if applicable) consent to a criminal and residential background check
Enjoys being pregnant and genuinely desires to help others create or add to their family
After meeting these requirements, the surrogate candidate advances to the next screening phase:
Detailed interview
Completion of a comprehensive application that includes medical and psychological questions
Thorough review of all official medical records directly obtained from treating physicians (these records are reviewed only by a medical professional)
Psychological evaluation and clearance
Criminal and residential background check
-
Yes! A surrogacy match is a mutual agreement between the intended parent(s) and the surrogate. We facilitate the initial meeting between the parties (typicall via video conference), then give everyone time to decide if you want to move forward together. If both parties want to proceed, you’re “matched” with your surrogate. Conversely, if the candidate doesn’t feel like a good fit, we go back to the drawing board and create a new match. Matching is key. We’re diligent about finding a surrogate who shares your values and your wishes about the pregnancy experience.
-
As much as you both agree to. We attempt to match you with a surrogate who meets your needs, which means we like to know how much contact you want with your surrogate. After the surrogate is approved to move forward by your clinic, intended parents and surrogates can arrange to meet at their own discretion.
-
We provide frequent updates to let you know exactly where we are in the process. You’re never alone on this journey!
-
Your surrogate will give birth where she lives. Together you and your gestational surrogate will agree on the birthing location. As you are going through the match process, have an idea of where you will feel safe and comfortable welcoming your child(ren). Finding a surrogate who shares those preferences will help ensure an enjoyable birthing experience for both you as the parent(s), and her as a birthing person. Many surrogates choose to birth where they delivered their own children and often with the same provider. If this arrangement won’t work, we will help her locate additional options close to her home.
-
The birth of the baby is one of the most exciting and rewarding steps of the entire surrogacy process. Most surrogates involve the intended parents in the labor and delivery process and celebrate with you as you welcome your new baby into the world. You assume full parental rights of your child at birth. Your name goes on the birth certificate, and the baby leaves the hospital with you. The surrogate goes home to her family to rest and recover. For most, the bond and the experience you’ve shared with your surrogate stays with you forever.
-
Surrogates, like intended parents, are required to go through background checks and medical and psychological screening.
-
Bright Futures Families conducts extensive interviews with surrogates and with our intended parents. Based on what we learn in the interviews, we propose a match based on similarities in beliefs and expectations and specific needs and desires. We present profiles to the intended parents and to the surrogate; each party decides if they want to move forward together, or not. If yes, the introduction process begins. If not, we go back to the drawing board better informed and create a new match.
-
This is a difficult question to answer without knowing you or your specific needs. The matching process can require patience as we wait for your “just right” match to complete the screening process. This is an emotional journey. We do our best to tread the thin line between rushing (we know you’re ready to be a parent) and taking our time to make sure everything is right for you and your surrogate. We invite you to make a free consultation appointment with our team to discuss your specific needs and our current estimated timing. https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/free-consult
-
You both pick — this is a mutual decision. You’re provided with a profile of a surrogate who most closely matches your stated preferences. Once you select a potential surrogate based on her profile, we send the surrogate your profile (no fully identifying information is included in either profile) and give her the opportunity to decide if she wants to meet you.
-
No, we do not use a database to match our surrogates. Each surrogate is hand-picked based on your preferences and those of your surrogate. Our process focuses on personal preferences; we aim for a good fit.
-
This depends on where you live, where the surrogate lives, and what each of you desires. The initial meeting can be held in person if everyone lives close but is typically via video conference if you don't or if it's not convenient to meet in person.
-
The golden rule of surrogacy is to work with a woman you get along with. If you’re uncomfortable with your surrogate, notify your case manager and ask to be matched with another surrogate. We do not believe in forcing the relationship; better to wait a short time longer for a match that works than to continue with someone who’s not a good fit.
-
The pregnancy is emotional for everyone. Stay calm and contact your case worker at Bright Futures Families if an issue arises; don’t let it fester. Every relationship has bumps, that’s to be expected. Luckily, participants in a surrogacy arrangement are invested in fulfilling one another’s wishes. Typically, there’s goodwill on both sides. In our experience, most intended parents and their surrogates get along famously and work well as a team.
-
It typically takes at least four to six months from the initial meeting to the first IVF (in vitro fertilization) attempt. Before an embryo transfer occurs, additional screenings are conducted and legal contracts drafted. Your surrogate undergoes approximately six weeks of medications to prepare for the embryo transfer.
-
The number of embryos to be transferred is predetermined in your surrogacy agreement. The contract specifies the number of embryo transfer attempts to be completed and the number of embryos to be transferred during each attempt. Bright Futures Families only supports single embryo transfer attempts.
-
We work with highly successful fertility clinics. It’s rare for a surrogate not to become pregnant during the agreed-upon number of embryo transfers. In the unlikely event that your fertility clinic determines that your surrogate is no longer a good candidate for IVF, Bright Futures Families re-matches you with another surrogate with a rematch fee.
-
If the surrogate you select is married or has a live-in partner, yes, you meet that person unless there is a very good reason they can’t attend the meeting (i.e., in the military and on deployment). The spouse or partner is definitely involved in surrogacy experience; life goes more smoothly if they participate in the decision.
-
Once a match is confirmed, you can expect the following things to happen:
Establishment of an escrow account
Full medical evaluation of the surrogate and the intended parents
Psychological consult for the intended parents
Health insurance review for the surrogate
Legal contract process
Commencement of the IVF cycle
Pregnancy
Pre-birth order process and judgment
Preparation for your child’s birth
-
Talking with a psychologist helps to ensure that you have given your decision a lot of thought and answered some important questions. For you, the intended parent(s), this is not a screening but rather an informational session.
-
The first step is a no-charge consultation. You hear about our program offerings, we learn more about your experience and answer your questions. Go here to schedule your consultation, give us a call or send an email.
Working with a Surrogacy Agency
-
There’s nothing wrong with you handling the surrogacy process. Independent scenarios can work well, with joyous outcomes. That said, there are advantages to using an agency. If you go independent, you generally list yourself as an intended parent in an online ad or search those same ads for surrogates—and potentially expose yourself to a dangerous or fraudulent situation. An agency protects you by screening all parties. Coordinating the necessary medical, legal and financial details of a surrogacy is time consuming, overwhelming and risky. Handling the process yourself can jeopardize and even cripple your relationship with your surrogate. We’re experts at handling the legal, medical and financial details. We provide the essential element of support. You and your surrogate can relax, enjoy the pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of your baby.
-
Yes, Bright Futures Families does not discriminate against age, ethnic background, marital status or sexual orientation.
-
Yes. Bright Futures Families works with intended parents throughout the U.S. We encourage you to involve yourself in the pregnancy as much as you can by attending medical appointments and, of course, being there for the birth of your child.
-
After your surrogate’s pregnancy is confirmed, she receives care from the IVF doctor during most of her first trimester. At approximately the 10-12 week mark in the pregnancy, the fertility doctor releases your surrogate to her selected OB/GYN, whose care is covered by the surrogate’s medical insurance (or insurance you have purchased for her). Your surrogate is seen by her OB/GYN until she delivers the baby, generally at the hospital; however, if you and your surrogate are in agreement, the delivery may occur at a birthing center. Decisions regarding the pregnancy are a joint effort between you and your surrogate; most decisions are discussed and agreed upon before the legal agreements are signed.
-
As much as you want. We’re here to help you through the entire surrogacy journey, from big issues to small concerns, like which stroller to buy or diapers to use. If you need a friendly ear, we’re available to listen, to answer your questions and to calm any anxieties about this exciting adventure.
-
We value family and relationships (we're founded by two sisters!). We’re diligent about creating a good fit between the intended parent(s) and their surrogate, then offer support and guidance throughout the entire process. We recognize that building a family through surrogacy entails a life-changing experience for everyone involved. We’re passionate about our work, and we’re good at it.
-
Bright Futures Families respects you, your family and the choices you’ve made. We’re committed to supporting you from the moment you decide to work with us until well after the birth of the baby. Give us a call or [make an appointment][1] to meet with us via telephone or video conference. This is a no-obligation opportunity to see if you connect with who we are and how we approach the surrogacy parenting experience.
-
Research the agency. Make certain they have ties to the community and to ethics and professional organizations. Members of our staff are members of SEEDS (Society for Ethical Egg Donation and Surrogacy), RESOLVE (The national infertility society), The American Society for Reproductive medicine (ASRM), AllPaths Family Building, Colorado Fertility Advocates, The Reproductive Alliance, the American Bar Association Assisted Reproductive Technology Law Committee and Adoption Committee, Colorado Bar Association Family Law Section, Colorado Bar Association Women’s Section, and the Colorado LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce.
Legal Matters
-
Yes. Our surrogates live in surrogacy friendly states and deliver in their home state, but you can live in any state and work with us.
-
Many intended parents worry about this in the early stages of the surrogacy journey. The likelihood of this happening is extremely rare. Typically the cases reported by the media are genetic (previously known as traditional) surrogacy cases (the surrogate uses her own egg and is genetically linked to the child). You and the surrogate enter into a valid and enforceable legal contract with the intent that the child she carries is your child. Every surrogate in our program is a gestational carrier and has no genetic link to the child. Our surrogates are pre-screened to determine their emotional and mental suitability. A woman who wants to become a surrogate feels fortunate to have her own child(ren) and isn’t looking for a baby to fill a void in her life. On the contrary, her decision is about giving the intended parents the opportunity to experience the joy that a family can bring. The majority of our surrogates have completed their family and have no desire for more children of their own.
-
Yes. When you are matched with a surrogate we refer you to independent legal counsel. Surrogacy should never be done without a contract, even if handled independently. Proceeding without a contract is extremely risky and often leads to legal issues that require years—and money—to resolve.
-
You choose your own attorney. If you don’t have an established relationship with an attorney who specializes in Reproductive Law, we provide a list of qualified attorneys in the state your gestational carrier will give birth in for you to research and choose from.
-
You take the legal steps, with the cooperation of your surrogate and her spouse or partner, to receive a Pre-Birth Parentage Order (PBO). The PBO gives you parental rights prior to the baby’s birth and stipulates that your name(s) be on the birth certificate from the start.
-
We encourage all of our intended parents to have estate planning documents in place that establish legal custody of the baby should something happen to you during the pregnancy.
-
In the extremely unlikely and unfortunate situation of a divorce occurring before your surrogate gives birth, custody of the child(ren) would be resolved through court custody proceedings. The child(ren) would never be the responsibility of the surrogate.
-
No, our agency has never been sued.
Financial Matters
-
No, Bright Futures Families does not charge for consultations or for providing information about our program.
-
Our fee covers a range of services, including criminal and financial background checks on the surrogate and her spouse or partner, preliminary medical records screening to detect easily discoverable medical problems (your fertility clinic conducts additional screenings) and a complete psychological screening. We conduct the introductory meeting between you and your potential surrogate. If necessary, we assist in contract negotiations. We help to coordinate medical care throughout the pregnancy and check in frequently with you and your surrogate to ensure that things are going well. We also help to resolve your concerns before and during the pregnancy and for a minimum of six weeks following delivery.
-
Often times intended parents come to us self- or independently- matched but still want the benefit of an agency to support them. For those situations we offer concierge services. The concierge service fee includes background checks. Even if the match doesn’t work out as planned, a portion of the concierge fees can be refundable, or can be applied to a full agency fee, depending on how far you made it in the process.
-
We divide our full service agency fee into an application fee, matching fee and monthly payments. We collect the matching fee when you are matched with your gestational carrier. If there’s no match, no fees are due! The monthly payments start once the match is accepted. Check out the breakdown of payments here. We recognize that the large lump sum payments of agency fees on top of escrow funding can make surrogacy feel overwhelming and out of reach for many and this is an attempt to help make surrogacy fit into a budget that can be obtainable to more people.
-
The cost varies widely. The amount is based on a number of factors, including the possible need of an egg donor, if you’re expecting twins, and the circumstances of your surrogate. Our intended parent cost estimate sheet gives you a ballpark estimate of what to expect. We’re well aware of the financial stress that intended parents possibly experienced before deciding to pursue surrogacy. We strive to keep our expenses in line and designed our program to minimize cost and stress as best we are able. We have no hidden fees. Our agency fee includes background checks and the pre-medical and psychological screenings conducted by our agency.
-
We allow our gestational cariers to choose their own base compenstaion. Generally our first-time surrogates currently request a base compensation of $50,000. The gestational carrier's requested benefit package is disclosed to intended parents at matching. In the event of mitigating circumstances such as nonexistent or poor health insurance coverage that would increase your costs significantly, the surrogate may be willing to settle for a lower base compensation because you pay her insurance premiums. Experienced surrogates typically receive $5,000 or $10,000 more. If a surrogate is carrying multiples, she can expect to receive an additional $15,000 per baby. A monthly allowance and housekeeping allowance, which are standard, can add another $5,000 in reimbursements. Other, more variable costs may include reimbursement for child care and lost wages if the surrogate is placed on bed rest or undergoes a caesarean section or other invasive procedure.
-
Yes. In the case of multiples, our surrogates receive an additional $15,000 per baby.
-
Although your policy may provide coverage for certain fertility-related expenses you incurred for your own fertility-related procedures, insurance policies do not cover third parties (your surrogate). You need to pay the medical expenses your surrogate incurs at the fertility clinic and, if the surrogate’s own insurance does not cover surrogacy-related maternity and delivery costs, a health insurance policy to cover prenatal care and delivery.
-
A number of insurance companies are adding surrogacy exclusions to their policies. As a result, some surrogacy agencies suggest using the surrogate’s insurance even though these exclusions exist, claiming that the insurance company won’t know that this is a surrogate pregnancy. Under these circumstances, you as the intended parent risk a huge financial loss if there are complications with the pregnancy and the insurance company discovers the surrogacy relationship. Worst case, the matter is considered insurance fraud. We send all of our surrogate's health insurance policies for a professional review to determine if it contains any surrogacy exclusions prior to matching. With that information in hand, you can decide to use her policy or purchase a separate insurance policy to cover her as a surrogate.
-
Many of our surrogates carry their own health insurance. If your surrogate does not, you provide her with a health insurance policy for the duration of the surrogacy.
-
Before a surrogate is cleared to undergo the embryo transfer, our intended parents are required to place sufficient funds to cover the surrogate’s fees and expenses throughout the pregnancy in an escrow fund. The escrow company pays your surrogate from this fund per the terms of your direct legal agreement.
-
All financial issues and discussions are handled through Bright Futures Families or the escrow agency. We believe that you and your surrogate should be free to focus on the pregnancy and your relationship. As your agency, we handle all financial discussions. alleviating you and your surrogate of the burdens they can cause.
Medical Concerns
-
Deciding on which reproductive endocrinologist to use is a highly personal decision. We suggest you research success rates via the CDC and SART. Also do some self reflection as to what size medical practice feels best for you. Do you like a clinic with a lot of doctors? Or do you prefer the intimate feeling of a clinic that only has one doctor and knows every patient? It's truly up to you!
-
Yes. Thanks to sperm-washing techniques and a new highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART), it is possible for HIV-positive persons to parent safely.
-
Frozen embryos are stored at your IVF clinic. If your family is complete, you are advised about your options for the future of your embryos. If you choose to move your embryos, your IVF clinic assists with that process. You have the option to use cryo-preserved embryos in a future surrogacy.
-
The embryo transfer is a quick and relatively painless procedure. The IVF doctor inserts the embryo(s) into the surrogate’s uterus through a small catheter. An ultrasound may be used to help guide the physician during the transfer. Once the embryologist has ensured that the embryos(s) are safely inserted, your surrogate remains in the recovery room for 30-60 minutes before leaving the clinic. Doctors vary in their protocol, but most send her back to her regular daily life, with some restrictions such as modified listing restrictions.
-
No, it’s not required. If long-distance travel is required, your surrogate is compensated for her travel expenses and this is very typical.
Free Consultation on Finding a Surrogate
Have questions about surrogacy or wondering if it’s the right path for you? Visit our Free Consultation page to connect with a caring expert from the Bright Futures Families team. You’ll have the chance to ask questions, learn about the process, and explore your options in a pressure-free, supportive environment. We’re here to help guide your next step.