5 things to do before choosing a surrogate
Learn the answer to this week's user-submitted question about surrogacy in this week's installment of Ask a Surrogacy Expert! Have a question about surrogacy that you'd like answered? Submit it at https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ask
5 things to do before choosing a surrogate
Embryo Creation First: Prepare embryos before finding a surrogate to avoid delays and keep the process moving smoothly.
Know the Process: Work closely with your clinic and agency to understand your unique surrogacy timeline and expectations.
Budget Upfront: Include surrogate pay, insurance, and travel costs in your budget; be ready for unexpected expenses and escrow funding.
Agency vs. Independent: Choose based on your ability to manage legal and financial tasks; check if clinic requires agency involvement.
Emotional Support: Build a trusted support network from family, friends, or peer groups to manage emotional challenges through surrogacy.
Ready to change lives as a gestational carrier?
Transcript:
Hey everybody, this is Shira, your surrogacy bff. And I'm coming to you today with another question. Today's question is what are five things to do before choosing a surrogate? Well, number one, create your embryos. So while that sounds easy enough, it is often a longer process than many people anticipate. It may be filled with starts and stops and it may not go as fast as you hope. So we strongly suggest that you create embryos before you start looking for a surrogate. The last thing you want is to have your surrogate and everybody be excited to go and then have it take months and months to create embryos and everyone's just kind of on hold. So create your embryos. Number two, understand the process. So what does that, does surrogacy mean for your clinic, your particular reproductive endocrinologist?
Talk to everybody and see what are their timelines, anticipated timelines, what are their procedures and so forth. Get to understand what the journey will look like. Talk to your agency. Just remember that every journey is different and unique. All right, number three, this is a big one. Consider your budget. Why is that important? Well, because while budget does not dictate everything, it can put some parameters around the type of journey and the person that you match with. Meaning specifically, you want to consider how much can you afford for your surrogate's compensation or insurance or travel arrangements, should that be needed. What about if you end up having multiple transfers or there are hopefully not. But if there are medical complications or surprises like twins or multiples, what about if there are variables that you can't control?
Make sure that you have enough funds available up front to make this a smooth journey because the last thing you need is to be stressed about money partway through. Also, just so you're aware, most of the agencies require that you put money in an escrow account and that you fully fund it at the time the contract is signed. All right, number four, should you do an independent journey or should you work with an agency? Well, this is a great question. So to be honest, this is a very individual question and answer response. I should say what you choose to do is what you feel good about and what you feel you can manage. So do you feel like you are better off handling everything on your own with your surrogate handling bills?
You will still work with a clinic and with attorneys for the legal contract and for the pre birth order. If you do an independent journey or do you prefer to have an agency help guide you through it and support you? Now, one thing to keep in mind is that many clinics require that you work with an agency. So before you make a decision on your own of what you want to do, go independent or work with an agency, just check with your clinic and see if they have specific requirements. All right? And number five is figure out your support system. I know that sounds a little silly. You're like, well, I know my family or my friends and those who will support me, my workplace cohorts and so forth.
But the reality is this is a very emotional journey and there are ups and downs and you are going to want to have some people that know what you're going through that you can talk to. Sometimes you might find a support group, like a peer group through your clinic or even online. But figure out for yourself who is in your support network, who's in your inner circle that you're comfortable talking to and fill them in. All right. I hope that helps. Get ready for a great journey. Bye. Bye.