Do the parents tell the child they were born from a surrogate?
Learn the answer to this week's user-submitted question about surrogacy in this week's installment of Ask a Surrogacy Expert! Have a question about surrogacy that you'd like answered? Submit it at brightfuturesfamilies.com/ask
Surrogacy Disclosure Approach
The main takeaway is that families decide individually whether & how to tell children about their surrogacy origins, with openness & positivity encouraged. Parental choice drives disclosure…whether parents tell their kids about being born via surrogacy depends entirely on each family’s preference. Starting the conversation early with simple language helps normalize the story for the child. Framing surrogacy as a positive, unique part of their life story makes it engaging & less intimidating. Encouraging openness to all questions builds trust & reduces secrecy around the topic. Resources support families in disclosure with books & tailored methods available to help parents navigate telling their children. Each situation is different, so flexible approaches are recommended.
Agency Expertise and Support
Bright Futures Families Surrogacy leverages the personal experiences of the team to provide empathetic & professional support around fertility & surrogacy. The BFF team’s personal connection to fertility: everyone at the agency has either been a surrogate or affected by fertility issues, giving us firsthand insight. This personal experience strengthens their ability to assist families authentically. It also builds trust with clients seeking support & information. Open communication channels are emphasized for families seeking help or information about surrogacy & disclosure. Our agency encourages reaching out via website, phone, or email for personalized conversations. This accessibility supports families at any stage of their surrogacy journey.
Family Engagement and Education Strategy
We promote a strategy of early, honest, & positive education to help children understand their surrogacy origin as a normal part of their identity. Start conversations when children are young to build understanding over time rather than all at once. Keeping explanations age-appropriate & simple helps children grasp the concept without confusion. Making it part of everyday life reduces stigma & secrecy. Normalize surrogacy as a unique but positive story to help children feel special rather than different. This approach aims to boost children’s self-esteem & curiosity rather than shame or confusion. Parents are guided to present surrogacy as something “cool & interesting”.
The discussion acknowledges the emotional complexity of surrogacy disclosure & promotes transparency to foster healthy family dynamics. Encouraging honesty reduces fear & secrecy around surrogacy origins, helping children develop trust in their parents. Being open to questions supports emotional well-being & curiosity. Hiding nothing is advised to avoid confusion or feelings of betrayal later. Acknowledging each family’s uniqueness respects diverse comfort levels & cultural values around surrogacy disclosure. This flexibility helps families tailor the approach to their values & child’s needs. BFF surrogacy agency positions itself as a resource regardless of the chosen disclosure path.
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Transcript:
Callie here with Bright Futures Families Surrogacy. Today's question is, "Do the parents tell the child they were born from a surrogate?" I mean, that is based on each family & how they want to address that. Some key points to kind of ease that transition or tell a child is start when they're young, keep the language simple, frame it in a positive manner & make it a part of their life story. You know, this is unique. Not every child is born from surrogacy. So making that kind of cool, interesting for them. Be open to all the questions & explore all their questions & you know, hide nothing from them. Again, there are books, there are ways to tell them each situation is definitely different. But I think to answer that question is, yeah, I think a lot of parents tell their children they were born from a surrogate, but it really just depends on each family & how they choose to address that & tell their kiddos that. But if you have any more questions or, you know, just want to explore surrogacy more or even have questions or helping with telling your child they were born from surrogacy, reach out to us. Our website is www.brightff.com & our phone numbers & emails are listed on there. Anybody from the agency would be willing & loving to talk to you more about surrogacy & all the cool opportunities & dynamics comes from surrogacy. Each of us at our agency has either been a surrogate or have been affected by fertility in some sort of way. So we've all been there personally & professionally. Once again, Callie Megel with Bright Futures Families Surrogacy.
