How do I know that I, as the surrogate, won't be micro-managed by the intended parents?

Learn the answer to this week's user-submitted question about surrogacy in this week's installment of Ask a Surrogacy Expert! Have a question about surrogacy that you'd like answered? Submit it at https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ask

Hey everyone, it's Jennifer White, CEO of Bright Futures Families Surrogacy, with this week's question, which is: How do I, as a surrogate, know that I won't be micromanaged by my potential intended parents? And the honest answer is, you may not know if it's going to happen, but as with anything in this, a good agency is going to help to mitigate these things. One of the biggest things, of course, is you want to make sure that you have a really good and in depth match meeting and you should have an agency representative there. I know that some agencies don't do that because they feel like it's overstepping. We feel really strongly that we should be there not because we're trying to overstep or get in anybody's way or be part of the relationship. It's because we want to make sure that those hard questions, those things that might indicate that that is coming, are asked so that you as a surrogate and obviously as the intended parents too, get a really good feel, feel for each other. Because that's what's really important is getting that good feel and that feeling of trust. Because if you trust each other, then there's less likely going to be micromanagement issues. That said, if you get into a situation where your intended parents either have changed or something is, you know, gone wrong, go back to your agency. If you have parents that you feel like are being micromanaging or things like that, go back, use the resources that you have, talk to the agency, let them know that you are concerned and that you're having a really big difficulty. They will have plenty of tools, resources and ways to help and will help you through that. So while I can't make any kind of promises because every person is going to be unique, I can say that generally we try really hard to make sure that that doesn't happen. But also, if you do get into that situation, please reach out and use these tools of an agency so that you can be protected and helped through that process. I hope that helps.