Worried about after the surrogate birth with the hormones and no baby. What do you do, and how do you deal with that?

Learn the answer to this week's user-submitted question about surrogacy in this week's installment of Ask a Surrogacy Expert! Have a question about surrogacy that you'd like answered? Submit it at https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ask

Emotional and hormonal changes: Gestational carriers face unique feelings post-delivery due to not keeping the baby, affecting recovery time.

Importance of mental preparation: Emotional readiness helps surrogates manage expectations and adjust to postpartum experiences.

Support systems are crucial: Open communication with surrogacy agencies and intended parents reduces anxiety and enhances trust during recovery.

Ongoing agency support: Agencies like Bright Futures Families offer practical advice and emotional backing throughout the surrogacy journey.

Positive relationships with intended parents: Maintaining contact provides reassurance and emotional benefits, promoting overall wellbeing for gestational carriers.

Have more questions about surrogacy and the process?

Transcript:
Hi, it's Janelle with Ask a Surrogacy Expert. Our question is “I'm worried about the surrogate birth, with the hormones and no baby. What do you do, and how do you deal with that?”

So after the delivery, just like after any pregnancy, your body is going to go through hormonal changes, a hormone drop. The emotional experience can be just a little bit different because you don't have a baby. However, the good news is that you've had a lot of time to mentally prepare for this. There is a screening process done at the beginning to make sure that surrogates are informed about what's going to happen. They know that it's not their embryo and they’re just giving. You (as a surrogate) would be giving the baby back to their parents versus giving up a baby. Best thing to do is just prepare ahead of time.

Talk openly with your agency. If there are concerns, talk to a counselor, a support group. Focus on recovery and self care. Coming from experience, I will say I have delivered four babies. One was a surrogate baby, and that was the easiest recovery for me, the easiest postpartum period, and I think it's because I was able to focus just on my healing self care and recovery. I think most surrogates would probably say that. But just keep in mind, everybody's experience is different. It's just important to remember that you are giving something amazing to somebody else, and that in itself is huge. And especially if you have an open line of communication with your intended parents and they send you cute little updates and it's just good to stay in contact if possible.

If not, that's totally your choice and that's a match point for you. Just knowing ahead of time what to expect and focusing on yourself is helpful. A lot of our team members at Bright Futures Families have been surrogates in the past and if you have any questions about this specifically, you can contact us and we'd love to talk with you more about it.